We cannot help with gender apostasy until we come to terms with the reality that it is a form of apostasy. It is of the same nature as apostasy from the true church, it demonstrates the same characteristics, and it must be treated in the same way if it to be helped at all.
And until we embrace that we will be stumbling around doing more harm than good to those who struggle with it.
Apostasy is rejection of fundamental truth. The more perfectly the truth is known, the harder it is to recover from apostasy form it.
What is the usual route to apostasy from the church? Doesn't it usually start by the adversary getting us to question? If we give heed to those doubts then his power over us is strengthened and those doubt become more compelling to us. The more we give way to such questions and doubts the more power Satan gains until he overpowers even our own personal divine experiences and we cast away the gospel. Once the adversary convinces one to reject God's truth, his rejection of fundamental knowledge works against him and he becomes incredibly hardened against the truth he was once so firm about.
When we reject eternal truth that we already know we are engaging in a form of apostasy and it follows the same pattern whether it is rejection of a testimony, a rejection of our nature to be attracted to the opposite gender, or a rejection of our own gender.
In all cases, if we are misbehaving, if we are increasing the devil's influence over us through sin, especially through moral sin, then his power to influence us will be dramatically strengthened.
Just as with apostasy from the truth, sometimes people apostatize from their gender mostly by giving way to initial temptations to question. If the adversary can get them to give way to his whisperings to question their gender, then they find those questions become more compelling. If the cycle is allowed to initially take root, it continues and becomes harder and harder to escape. It is just like apostasy from the church.
The moment we teach that those questions are legitimate we have opened the floodgates for this sort of apostasy. We will then see dramatically more of it and it will begin to take coarser forms. We may have helped those who have given way to it already salve their troubled consciences. But fighting against the light of Christ comes at a cost, and if we teach that such questions are legitimate we will end up destroying far more of his children while simultaneously reinforcing the harm those who have already given way have done to themselves.
Satan had power to tempt even the sinless Christ. Do those temptations define who Christ is? No. Do they define who we are? No.
And when we start telling people that those temptations might just be who they really are then we have actually told them to listen to the first of Satan's lies. That dramatically strengthens his ability to make those lies seem compelling.
The only way out of gender apostasy is to treat it like apostasy.
Step 1. If you are feeling such temptations you must take a firm stance that you KNOW what gender you are, and what gender your body is attracted to, and that those temptations are lies.
Step 2. Keep doing step 1.
Important Caveat. You will never defeat Satan on a moral issue while misbehaving morally. Cast out any or the least moral misbehavior. Know that it will take months or even years for the effects to go away. But know this: you have given Satan only temporary power to sway you on moral issues and in time if you fully repent his influence will fade and the truth will come out if you will stay firm in what you know to be true, even if that truth is nothing more than you know your gender, and you know what gender your body is really attracted to.