We have been living so long with the poisonous effects of feminism that we no longer recognize them as toxic.
Men naturally tend toward notions like duty, leadership and obedience as a virtue in its own right. Sure, not all men do, just like some women choose to be horrible nurturers. But these are traits men naturally gravitate towards.
We see this in the endowment in our father Adam.
By supplanting the father as the head of the home and reducing him to nothing more than the figurehead of the home, we inadvertently undermine these traits. These are traits that flow from a father when he is at the head of the home. But they do not do so when everyone knows he is only a figurehead. That undermines his ability to teach, or even believe in these traits.
It is in his role as a leader that man is most naturally inclined toward these traits. When he is not, he naturally lets the new boss, his wife, lead the way. A man understands duty and leadership as a natural synthesis, and that his right to lead in his proper place is the flip side of his obligation to duty when it is not his place to lead. When he finds he is only a figurehead in the home, he doesn't lead. He sets aside his inclinations in favor of his wife's because (whether he will admit it to himself or not) she is his leader. And he ceases to lead.
Then masculine traits like duty, leadership, and commandments aren't conveyed to the sons.
We have been following this road for a long time now, multiple generations, and what we have is a ridiculously effeminized culture which has no interest in duty or commandments, and no real notion of leadership that isn't basically motherhood instead of being like fatherhood.
I think that bears repeating: We have no real notion of leadership that isn't basically motherhood instead of being like fatherhood.
Consider the following example from a talk I heard a man give recently. Christ was being portrayed as a coach. The speaker said that when we got baptized we join Christ's team. He requires us to make commitments to show up to practice and take it seriously if we are going to join his team. The speaker than said that if we joined the team, but then we didn't show up we would make our coach disappointed.
Note that what is taught here is fairly effeminate, even for a football analogy. If we don't keep our covenants then we make our coach feel bad. It isn't about duty. There is no question of commandments and responsibility. There is certainly no mention of retribution or punishment, BECAUSE there is no sense of duty and commandments. The only thing at issue is the coaches feelings.
When we hear about commandments these days, it is rarely taught with a phrase that was good enough for Moses and God: "Thou shalt not". Instead we often hear them taught in extremely feminine terms about feeling and caring and maybe a soft substitute for punishment like "consequences". It as if we are really supposed to keep the commandments because, if we don't, it makes God feel bad. We almost never hear commandments simply as commandments. And there is certainly no mention of retribution or punishment. Punishment and retribution are notions that follow on the tail of duty and commandments. Once you abandon hard words like "thou shalt" and "thou shalt not" in favor of coddling then you have certainly abandoned words like "punishment" and "retribution".
Several times in the past year or two I have said it was important for people to understand one commandment or another, and have been astonished at the people who will respond that knowing something is a commandment is not enough to make them personally want to do it. In fact, in each case I was told that simply being told that something is a commandment makes them want to NOT do it.
That is astonishing. These are top notch members of the church, but they end up sounding like Laman and Lemuel. Why?
Because they have some measure of the poison of feminism. Duty isn't a virtue. Commandments aren't a reason for doing something. They didn't grow up that way. They have to be mothered into it. In fact, they think they have a right to be mothered into it. They don't think much of "thou shalt" and "thou shalt not" and thus they find it hard to measure up to a man like Moses.
We can do better, but we never will until we admit that feminism stands contrary to the scriptures, is founded in pride and animosity, and is poison for families and society.